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👻 IMAGINE DYING AND STILL HAVING A PERFORMANCE REVIEW.
Gary is a professional haunter.
A trained employee.
A working ghost.
A productive member of the supernatural labor force.
And apparently management would like to discuss his performance.
Here we find Gary sitting across from his supervisor while the dreaded PERFORMANCE REVIEW paperwork comes out.
Gary has no facial expressions.
Somehow you can still see the anxiety.
What exactly are the metrics here??
👻 Apparitions per quarter?
📈 Screams generated?
🚪 Doors mysteriously opened and closed?
🕯️ Candles extinguished without authorization?
😱 Client terror satisfaction scores?
“Gary, your haunting numbers are strong, but we\'d really like to see more initiative in the unexplained footsteps department.”
Sir.
He is DEAD.
👉 FOR PEOPLE WHO:
💼 have survived a performance review that could have been an email
👻 are invested in Gary’s professional haunting career
📊 have ever been personally victimized by corporate metrics
💀 enjoy the horrifying concept of bureaucracy continuing after death
🎨 collect tiny art with extremely unnecessary amounts of lore
Gary thought dying would finally free him from workplace bureaucracy.
Gary was incorrect.
Please keep him in your thoughts during this difficult meeting.
🎨 DETAILS:
• Original HAND-PAINTED ACEO — NOT a print
• Size: 2.5\" x 3.5\"
• Acrylic painting
• Signed by the artist
• Actual artwork pictured is the piece you receive
📦 PACKAGING + BONUS CHAOS:
Carefully packed by us because Gary has already received enough constructive response for one week.
A small surprise bonus may occasionally appear in the package. Never guaranteed. We simply cannot always be trusted around tiny extras.
Gary’s saga continues.
Assuming management renews his contract. 👻💼
