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Welcome back to yet another entry into the increasingly popular slim punk \"custom tee\" series. Now, for the unfollowing, uninitiated of you out there, what we\'ve been doing here at SPV is simple: acquiring some carefully hand-picked vintage tees, originally unironic, and then recontextualizing them into something entirely unique and new--as well as unabashedly controversial. Literally, I\'m trying to piss people off, particularly those on the political right, and I\'m doing so overtly. My visceral distain for the ideological right--the fascists--is compounding by the day. Just look at what\'s happening: the utterly unjustified and unwinnable wars in the Middle East, the ICE \"arrests,\" the gas prices, the decimation of any and all social services--it\'s sickening, to say the least, and it needs to stop, so we do what we can. We vote. We promote and attend \"No Kings\" rallies, and so forth. And, since I\'m in a unique position to leverage my \"platform\" here on , I make these shirts, and this one\'s a humdinger. For the kids out there, this t-shirt--the content--was a popular sort of \"battle cry\" for militant right wingers going back to the 80s. The tee, the original content thereof, simply said, \"Kill \'Em All...Let God Sort \'Em Out.\" Now, the hillbilly grammar notwithstanding, the message is simple (as well as simple minded): kill anyone who doesn\'t subscribe to the jingoistic concept that \"America rules.\" And thus anyone who\'s not aligned, ideologically, with the notion that the United States should serve as some kind of universal police--they should simply be put to death. Sigh. This is obviously so absurdly offensive at this point (as if it were ever even remotely justifiable) that it barely requires further commentary. When this tee puked its way up onto my feed (and they\'re not that rare), I simply had to buy it, just so that I could take a huge left wing dump all over it. I\'m so sick of this sh*t. Now, for clarity\'s sake, Kill \'Em All happens to bethe title of a Metallica album, but that\'s separate and apart from the original right wing \"war cry\" that this tee was meant to promote. Apparently, Metallica wanted to call the album \"Metal Up Your Ass,\" and the suits at the label objected, so the band settled on \"Kill \'Em All\" as a compromise--as in, \"kill the suits,\" to whom they were clearly powerless; so they get half-credit, in my estimation. (I\'m no Metallica fan, but if they were as tough as they claim to be, they should\'ve just stuck to their guns. Again, this is why the late great Steve Albini argued so adamantly against signing with a major: yeah, you\'ll make more money, but it comes at a creative cost, not the least of which is titling your album as you wish.) So, all I\'ve actually done here was to add the following text:Shouldn\'t Take Too Long. She\'ll Just Send the Fascists to Hell Where They Belong. This, to me, both sounded goodand said it all. F*ck you because not only is god a woman, but the \"Em\" are actually the fascists; and she knows precisely where--once properly disposed of--they should go.Basically, I just capitalized on the right\'s dumb ass omission of who the\"them,\" grammatically-speaking, should refer to, and I aptly turned it around on them. F*ck \'em. So there you have it.
Now, as most of you already know, I\'m not gonna list some piece of crap tee, regardless of content. This is an OG Screen Stars, a large--the slim_punk standard--and it\'s luscious as can be: no flaws whatsoever; just vintage scrumptiousness all the way down. I do kind of think it\'s funny that the same brand that put out shirts by bands like the Dead Kennedys and Black Flag also put out this conceptual piece of crap, but that doesn\'t detract at all from the quality of the tee itself. It fits and feels every bit as great as it looks (see pics), and I\'d wear it myself any day of the week, but I won\'t. It\'s for whoever buys it, and that\'s that.This is the only one of its kind that currently exists, and I\'ll probably never make another (if this one sells, I could, but I\'d have to find an equally dope iteration and then go through the trouble and expense: again, I\'m always onto something else). So you\'ll be the only one donning this one at the dive bar, no doubt. An originally right wing rant turned--uncompromisingly--onto its fascist, fat ass face. F*ck \'em all. I\'m done.
